Tuesday, 4 July 2023
Dear Idiots Passing By,
If you have received some form of basic education, you will surely be aware that prepositions are taught at elementary level in almost every language. So, when the prominently displayed sign and/or deliberate delivery note say(s) to “leave the item(s) ON the bench”, Just. Leave. The. Item(s). ON. THE. FUCKING. BENCH. You are not going to win any prizes nor applause for being “creative” when you:
- damage the parcel / my property by wilfully slotting it into the extremely narrow gap between my metal gate and door
(the last I checked, my house is not a post box)
- hang things from my door handle
(so that it can slide to the ground when I turn the handle to open the door if I'm at home?)
- rearrange my footwear so that the item can fit under the bench
(wow, delivery now comes with home organising services I didn’t ask for)
- stuff the parcel behind the bench
(why? when it’s see-through anyway)
The purpose of said bench is for contactless delivery, i.e. maintain hygiene and health safety. Not sure why you feel the need to molest our belongings. If you want to insult your own intelligence, be my guest. You only have your stupidity and lack of common sense to blame when the worst misfortunes (randomly bestowed depending on my level of annoyance) befall you and your associates for inconveniencing me and incurring my ire. Woe to you if I catch you in the act because I will definitely give you a piece of my fucking mind.
I also have a dedicated flyer box right outside my house that can obviously be seen unless you are blind. If you insist for whatever dumbass reasons to slot flyers at the side of my metal gate, causing papers to fly onto the floor / flight of stairs outside my house, so be it. I am not about to potentially endanger myself by picking up after your incompetence. Perhaps some day, you will finally understand when you slide down the stairs and break your legs.
No Regards and Go Fuck Yourselves,
Pissed Off Resident
Lover of mooos, polar bears, domo-kun, kapibarasan & sumikko gurashi.
A simple & happy life
followed by
a quick & painless death.
(In the meantime,
not let thyself go to waste!)
“Politeness is just another form of deceit;
a carefully curated facade to mask one’s true underlying intentions.”
Example:
Kindly fuck off from my personal space.
© Miss Mysterious, 2010
(Gundam Guy)
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